New Videos up

Hey guys,

New videos up on youtube...check em outtttttt

 

and the part 2 to it!

Guess Whos Back?

Sorry for the hugeee dissapearance guys...

As you already knew, Im getting married, and the last month has been crazy planning the shower, which was like a mini wedding..(pics to follow shortly once photographer sends em to me)
Ive also been busy with painting our house, and fixing it up...i'll take some pictures tomorrow and post em to show you!

My sister left for Japan this weekend...its weird cause i hardly saw her the past month cause i was never home, so her being gone now almost feels as though its still the usual routine of not seeing her. I hope shes having fun...and i hope to go out there to visit her soon.

Anywho...heres a youtube video I made today. Its 3 am....im going to go pass out, then hopefully get back to updating you guys more often!



Chow

not dead

updates to follow....with pictures for sure...

stay tuned. im sorry guys!

Constipation, Diarreah, Laser Hair, Job Interview

What do these things have in common? They all happened today....

Sorry for the lack of updates guys...I dont know if I mentioned that I am getting married in 5 months. Which means I have been a busy bee planning shower stuff, which is going to happen in a month from now, the bachelorette and of course the wedding...

Constipation

I cant poo. Thats right you heard me, I cant poo. But thats no biggie, ive never been able to go poo as often as most people do. I have bowel movements maybe once a week...sometimes 8-9 days...

But ive been like this since I was young, so it doesnt bother me.

Diarreah

A while back my friend Stacey told me to buy this magnesium drink from Meijers cause she said its incredible for “unblocking” and “cleaning out”. For some reason beyond me, last night I decided to drink the little bottle before bed, in hopes that overnight it would soften my stool and just come out before I had to go to work. (Gross, I know, but bear with me im going somewhere with this..)

3 AM hits, and I feel a rumblin....i've gotta go. I “went” all the way up until 7 AM...i couldnt get off the damn toilet...and my butt felt like it was going to fall off.

All day at work I felt the urge to splurge...but managed to keep it at bay by not consuming any more liquid than necessary. 1:00 hits, and I have to leave work cause I have a Laser Hair Removal appt at 2:00.

Laser Hair Removal

I get to the clinic and grab a seat waiting to be called up...then it gurgles again...oh no...it hits me..no, not the poop..the stupidity. WHY would I have drank that damn thing the day before im getting my who-haw and poo-paw lasered??!! (I get a lot of stuff done, so I totally forgot what I was having done today..)

So the girl is being totally sweet, i've never had her before. Her name was Hollie. Talking to me, trying to make me comfortable with the fact that shes about to probe me for 2 hours in my most precious places......

Gurgle Gurgle

SHIT! Literally!! My stomach is ready to go, and I have to clench, but the poor girl wants to get in my butt, but I cant let her get in just yet, so she starts on my legs, then works her way up....i know she either knew something was up or she thinks I was raped in the butt in a past lifetime.....

Hollie - “Are you doing ok?”

Me - “Oh yeah. As good as I can be for having things that close to my privates..haha.he...heh..” sigh

Job Interview

So we continue talking about any and everything..and it turns into a semi interview! Well no, not really...but she did flat out tell me to apply, and exactly when to apply.... She also mentioned that the the girl that I had 6 weeks earlier, Amy, who did my nipples, armpits and upper lip (Yeah, im hairy ok...I cant stand body hair!!) was talking to her about me and about how much SHE liked me, and how she had said she wanted me to work there too!

Rewind to back to the first person I had at this clinic who was doing my laser all over my body, Barb, shes seen me head to toe naked...SHE used to ask me to apply there all the time! And to give her my resume, and shed make it happen...all I had to do was leave the dermatologist im currently working for....

ANYWAYS....I finished up the session, but didnt have the heart to tell Hollie why I was so “tight” and tensed up... I didnt want her to know she was inches away from an explosion....lol

After paying for my treatment, Barb came out and gave me a hug and said long time no see, and basically said to the girls that she wanted me to work there! Think its a sign or what? Lol

ANYWHO the purpose of this post was....I cant believe how awesome my coochie is. All I had to do was flash my privates, and people were THROWING jobs at me.....I guess all I need to do now is set up an interview and go in naked! Hahaha

Im going to hand out resumes like that one day and see how many call backs I get.

alright ladies, i'll be back with something more interesting later...

WATCH THIS!

i saw this and just had to share it with you...HILARIOUS!!!
okok and this one too, the end is awesome, lol!

Awards, Yachts and Wedding favors

AWARDS

 
Hey guys, sorry for the the long pause in between posts...as i mentioned in my last post tho, i have been trying to bang out any and every last detail involved in my wedding, lol. I want it to be done with!

Before i get to the wedding stuff, just wanted to show you guys i won my very first award! i didnt do anything...nor am i a mommy or anything, but hey!! Its an award damnit!! im proud!

Thank you Jennifer @ http://jenniferkloos-ruiz.blogspot.com/ (check her out!) 

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THE SHOWER

So now on to wedding business....

I spend the whole day in the states yesterday. and i finally booked my shower! Its going to be here:

The infinity and ovation yacht charter was a place i considered long ago for my wedding venue when i found out i was going to be marrying a Canadian white guy, lol. My whole family lives in the United States, his whole family lives in London, Ontario....which is a bit of a problem. because we live in Windsor. London to Windsor = 2 hours. Certain parts of the US to Windsor= 1.5 hours, but our border is ALWAYS backed up! so possibly 2 hours anyways....

Someone elses wedding, lol

 but its a picture of the inside..not really a good one..

SOOOOO, I am having 2 showers...which i always ragged on people for doing..and i called them greedy (i know a girl who had 3!!) I guess my situation is different and completely karma infused, but its not possible to have just one shower. His mom is holding her side of the familys shower in London at her sisters house with around 15-20 people.
Our shower, and we shaved the list like you wouldnt believe...is going to be in Michigan, with 150 people.

Typical Chaldean weddings are usually about 700-900 people....we have huge families...for my wedding i am only inviting first cousins and direct family, and i've got my list down to like 350...its going to be a small-er wedding for us, haha. But HUGE for Kyle and his 80 COMBINED family and friends...lol

front of of the boat thing, i want my seat right here!!! hahaha

The party will go on here for the women. 2nd level for the men, and the third level is the dance floor!! its incredible.....

PLEASE stay tuned for pictures of this boat and 

our fabulous shower which will be taking place on JULY 18th!!!

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WEDDING FAVORS

So to stay away from anything normal or expected, we have decided to give another "different" and expensive favor to our guests... We contemplated so many things personalized with our names, but in the end my mom came up with the BEST idea of them all... We are placing on every womans chair a box which will contain a kefiyah. Its a scarf much like the belly dancing scarves, which we use in our culture to dance and celebrate with. The bells add a beautiful sound when you shake them and of course it always sounds great when everyone does it, while blaring music, singing, and dancing.

This is a picture of my sisters and i at my cousins wedding.

Note the kefiyah in my hand (im in green with the half smile, lol)

and yes, it is a picture of a picture...i dont have time to scan it!!

These scarves are very pricey usually starting at $20 a piece, and goes up depending on how many embellishments are on it! So needless to say, we are attempting to make 200 of these on our own to cut costs..lol The only thing we appear to be cutting is the time left to plan everything else!! It takes us a whole day just to make 10!! and we havent even sewn them on yet! we are just grouping and beading all the embellishments together to make it easy when we have to sew them on the scarf later!

As for the men, they will each receive a box containing worry beads. Which in our culture is a "necklace" used by the men for relaxtion, they just play with it in one hand while in conversation...i dont know how to describe it..but my dad has a very nice collection, and again, these are VERY expensive depending on the stones you have on it. For exaple, some are made from pure Jade or Amber stones, some from real pearls and crystals!! And of course you have the people in rich middle eastern countries who have them made of real diamonds... again, very pricey. So what we are doing is combining the worry beads with the evil eye beads! The evil eye is a symbol of good fortune and is used to keep away another persons actual "evil eyes" away from our happiness. Regardless of what certain dictionaries say, we do not use them to "inflict injury onto others" thats which craft people...not beads..
Anywho, the end result will look something like this:

But ours will be way better, i dont like these ones at all...but i couldnt really find a good picture of them...

Anyways, im off to renew my drivers license since i let it expire...then im off to try on my wedding dress..i think i found THE one!!!! more pics and stuff later...

Weddings and Things

Sorry for the lack of posts... My life as of lately has been very crazy...

Did i ever mention that i am getting married in November? Thats right, 6 more months, and i have no wedding dress...no bridesmaid dresses, no cake, no flowers, no lots of stuff. You name it, i aint got it.

So im basically trying to bang out every last detail within the next 2 weeks. lol
I was one of those girls that cut out pictures and saved em in a book, or in an online folder..waiting...dreaming of my big day. But now that im engaged, everything seems so..unfairy tale like??

I just dont seem as motivated, prolly cause we bought a house and im more obsessed with doing that stuff...but i dont know...

anyways, heres like..a mini video we did the day after our engagement party. it was lots of fun, and the guy that did it was super awesome. you can check out his website: www.perfectshutter.com


Mariam and Kyle - Engagement Clip from Perfect Shutter on Vimeo.


Yeah, like i said, lots of fun. heres a few pics from the engagement party too:

My sisters and i getting ready

Kyle and I 

(ive since had my nose done - thank god. It will look better in my engagement photos)

The guys dancing and lifting the groom to be.

My brother and 2 sisters and I before the party

Me at the end of the night with my heels off, hair down...phew...long night.

I didnt want to post too many photos of other people on here..cause some people freak if you post them... 

It was a fun night, about 80-90 people, lots of gifts, food, drinks, laughs, and dancing....very fun night.

I just realized i didnt post any color pictures, oh well, hahaha

Thats all for now i guess...enjoy!

Friday Faux-Pas

I've decided to start a faux pas section based on my views alone. Some of you may or may not agree with me. Some of you will whole heartedly agree...Either way, it is a day where i will post a few pictures of people, thing and anything else i believe should get a friday faux-pas stamped across it.

Now you may be thinking, wth Mariam? its not friday!

Well you're right, but i figured i'd pretend it was for today, since i have a few things to vent about now. Dont worry, you'll still wake up and find that tomorrow is indeed dreadful Monday.

Lets begin:

Does looking at this picture not make you want a fruit by the foot right about now?

Why would this girls "friend" do this to her? Shame on any of you who have a friend and does not help them dress accordingly to their body. If my BFF showed up for a night out, id punch her in the face.

STOP BE SUCH A SELFISH BFF! Karma will come back to you!

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Okay, now this is what i've really been wanting to talk about...This little girl has been plastered all over magazines, blogs, tv, everywhere...I get it, shes cute. But seriously though...what is up with that 30 year old face?? Its like she KNOWS something is going on...or like shes an adult spy that looks like a baby..She creeps me out. The odd occasion i see a photo of her laughing, but its prolly only to prove that shes not a robot or something insane that tom cruise and his cult buddies made in some laboratory...

 WTF is up with these faces...its like she knows the cameras are on her, so she shows how much she hates it. Now this is either incredible for a toddler to be doing, or shes a grown person in a childs body sick of the limelight. She just has this stuck up way of looking at the cameras. I know, i know "shes just a child!" But seriously, do you not look at her and think, she is the most miserable child....

30 million dollar wardrobe, and she is miserable.

Speaking of wardrobe, WTF is up with the shoes shes wearing??

Now you look at JUST the legs in the right half of those pictures and tell m if those belong to a toddler? That girls got better legs than I DO!! And who the eff makes their kid run around in those all day? We as women know how uncomfortable it can be at times...especially shopping!

Heres a reason i dont think Tom should be able to dress this child...Its effing pouring rain out...like monsooning in the city..and this chick is wearing peep toe's....Where are her rain boots?!? 

Ladies, do you remember stepping in a puddle while wearing a cute pair of peeps, and all of a sudden,

you're sliding in and out of those damn shoes, looking like a fool, cause you cant seem to keep them on, 

even if you clench your toes!!?? 

Yeah. Exactly. WTF. And man is it just me or is she wearing leggings and heels? Yes, she is. The same thing that GROWN adults wear....its cute for kids when they have on leggings and flats...but the heels make her look like the olsen twins when they hit puberty and grew up too fast. Dont worry about Elmo sweetheart, hes the last of your worries...grab onto a damn hand rail, cause you're going to go down fast.

Last but not least, i leave you with a photo of the 2 people responsible for this creation.

Is it just me, or has Tom cruise gotten ridiculously hotter, and poor katie holmes is looking older and older...

I feel bad, i cant say that this is 100% true...but i just feel like Katies been pushed back and the leading lady in Toms life is Suri...Katie, youre too pretty to have done this to yourself...but then again, maybe she likes not having to do movies anymore, and just buy the stuff she likes to wear...but man remember her on that tv show, i forget the name cause i never watched it..but she was a jeans and tshirt kinda gal...now shes all about the "i own a yacht, so i dress like im on it everyday" kinda look...

*Sigh* i cant hate..i love that look.. shes evolved into my dream character...and Tom is pretty hot...

but that damn little girl creeps me the eff out.

Shes no Betty Crocker...

Thats it. Enoughs enough!

I've always had this issue with cooking.....i cant.
And i swore to my fiancee that once we got our own home, i'd put an honest effort into trying to make something other than starchy spaghetti..(thank god for spell check. can any of you really write spaghetti right the first time? dammit..i cant cook or spell food names like normal people either)

Anyways, since we got out new home (April 9th), i've been showing up to the house and i'll either start working on house projects and clean up, or i end up falling asleep on the couch till my fiancee makes dinner. then he wakes me up or summons me from my current project, and we eat. Yesterday after eating non-starchy spicy mushroom pasta (which i overkill with cheeses), my sweet sweet loveable fiancee says to me...
"so...when is it your turn to cook? Cause I've been the only one cooking since we got here..."

HOW DARE YOU!!! DONT YOU KNOW I HAVE PANIC ATTACKS WHEN PUT ON THE SPOT ABOUT COOKING!?!?

Its not that i dont want to...i just get so afraid that its going to turn out bad...I've had alot of embarrassing incidents at work too, which make up another 60% of why im terrified. Really tho, how hard could it be to just follow a recipe? or instructions on the back of a box...

YOU TELL ME.

I have officially done this twice at work with my poptarts. No one will let me bring them to work anymore...

Quaker oatmeal istructions are clearly not clear enough for me..You shoulda seen the inside of the microwave..

Neither of these photos are mine, but out of all the other searches on google, they seemed pretty dead on.

I will admit i've done some VERY stupid things....OMG the worst was prolly microwaving a boiled egg...

 

Now DONT JUDGE ME! I know good and well you cant reheat an egg in the microwave..but i figured 12 seconds never hurt nobody...WRONG! I wish i had pictures of what happened to my lips...

The egg BURST and all this steam came out and the whole inside of the egg turned to what looked like confetti and silly string!! and this HUGE blister immediately formed on my upper lip!!! It oozed and was HUGE for like 2 weeks....NEVER AGAIN! I actually didnt eat eggs for a long time after that....I had to get my egg source from mcdonalds! people who know how to do it right!!

Okay, so i have a hair appointment in an hour, and i need to get up and get ready....i just wanted to share my life of "cooking" with you...I think i will try to get a post going and photos of what i did to make my creations so that you can all see that im not doing a damn thing wrong...its just FATE or something that has doom written all over my kitchen....*SIGH*

Photos of my hair later? sure. why not. since all the photos in this post were NOT mine...but thanks to google image search anyways...I know my photos had i of taken any, would have been WAYYYYY better...way more mess...seriously....

Zombie Stompers, Binge Eating, Cora, Auto-Save

So its been a little while...lots of updates, but its late, and i need to get to bed....so lets summarize.

-Im still sick as shit. My nose wont stop running..and by running i mean waterfalls and gooey clear unbreakable mucus is constantly a-flow....No videos or pictures till this shnoz is back to its normal self...sorry guys! I've been dying to post stuff...
-The house reno's are coming along great...I'll have some photos for you soon of our before and after for the hallway and main room!
-Wedding plans still on standby, Ive neglected everything to work on the house....lol...Everyone is so shocked i still dont have a dress....relax...its an effing dress....i'll find SOMETHING. how crucial can it be?

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ZOMBIE STOMPERS

Finally received my Zombie Stomper pumps and Bikini! Shipping took a long ass time, and the shoes look like they have tiny scuffs on the sides...hmm...not very happy about this, and will most likely write Ironfist a letter about it...But anyways, the look and feel great! I know i didnt mention the bikini, but it was a spur of the moment purchase...i just wanted it. lol
It also looks and feel great! Obviously not as great as it does on the model...but Im happy nonetheless!

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BINGE EATING

1 thing not too many people know about me: I binge eat when im upset.
Lets be honest, lots of people do it. Especially in America, cause they all seem to blame their weight issues on their emotions...I used to laugh at those people..until recently..Over the past 4 years, i've noticed more and more how i wrap up my emotions in food..and the worst kind...im talking McDonalds, KFC, Burger King, fast food deep fried ANYTHING becomes my BFF. So needless to say, i fought with my fiancee today because i like to ignite his temper from time to time, and this time he really irritated me. I dont think i needed the fight tonight, but i brought it on myself...and ended up with a lap full of mcdonalds for the ride home... I always feel so guilty when i eat it..but for some reason i feel better knowing im hurting myself (body image) the most...i mean..how are these fries going to hurt HIM anymore than its hurting my thighs? ughh...fail.
Whats worse is im still sick!! so i couldnt even taste anything...NOTHING HAD TASTE TO IT!!
MEGA FAIL.

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CORA

On the same drive home i noticed a Cora billboard...why do people enjoy eating there? I've eaten there once and fucking HATED IT! Mind you, im not really a breakfast kinda girl to begin with..but i do like curb appeal...so when i picked what appeared to be a pretty picture breakfast, ended up tasting like vomit.

 First of all, i ordered this cause i like druit. i like potatoes..and i love asparagus...Now i have never had holandaise sauce, or whatever its called...but they said its like gravy...and if anyone knows me and my love for poutines and gravy...then you know i couldnt possibly pass up this dish. Its like they made it just for me!
That sauce...was the grossest thing i have ever had in my life. It is not gravy. It is not cheese. I dont know what it is, but even after scooping it right off my eggs and english muffin, the taste was still there...even on my fruit. Never again Cora. You are full of lies, and pretty fruit cut outs. Please remove your terrible billboards from my route.That is all.

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AUTO-SAVE

You also dont know this, but thank God blogger has auto save... i literally closed the post entry browser 2 times in a 30 second time frame...Accidentally of course....but let me tell you, there was no way in hell i was going to re-write anything i had written already....pffft...

 I had a few more things to blab about, but i forgot what, and plus i think i should go to bed now... Goodnight!